3 Common But Little Known Mistakes Passionate Entrepreneurial Women Make With Their Sales Energy

Kia Ora e Hoa Facebook, Hope you guys are doing well out there.

I wanted to talk today about really common misconceptions that I notice happen in sales conversations. And it doesn’t really have anything to do with your script, although it is this strange, funny thing that does happen.

1. Your Sales Power Dynamics Are OFF – you’re excited you might be getting some money – not in the process of auditioning clients.  

So what I notice when people say, Hey, can you check, check out my sales conversations or my Sell by chat –  it happens in the first sort of few minutes, I can sense the power dynamics are all off.

I think what happens is when you are not really in a solid place with what it is that you’re offering, and sometimes people really think they are, but sorry to break it to you, I’m sorry to break it to you …

but I can see this sense of, um, enthusiasm that happens in your sales conversations because you’re really, really excited that this person might be giving you money.

And that energy puts people off , it puts people off because it’s very much like, right?

Like I was walking through the plaza the other day and this guy was standing in there and he was like, Yes, yes, yes.

He goes, Oh, I, And he is like, Oh, what part of New Zealand are you from? And then I saw his shirt, um, and he was just trying to sell insurance.

I was like, Dude, nobody is gonna act like that except if you’re trying to sell me something. And like, shame on you trying to use that as the thing that, you know, tries to create some level of rapport, right?

People can sense in genuine rapport and you might actually be really excited. This person might be the one to give you money. Um, but it’s kind of also just like dating. You know, if a dude’s coming off too keen and trying to get into your pants straight away, you’re immediately don’t want , you’re immediately, it might be really nice, but you’re probably gonna be put off, right?

So the concept of auditioning clients is a really hard one for a lot of very heart centered practitioners to really grasp and understand. Sometimes people feel like, I already felt thought I was auditioning a client and it’s actually not an embodied conviction. It’s not really like, Hey, I’ve got something really, really awesome on the other side of this conversation, and I’m trying to figure out if you are a match, right? It’s like,

Hey, you know, you’re not, I’ve got something really awesome in these panties and I’ve gotta make sure that you are actually a match and you’re worthy, right?

So just like you wouldn’t wanna come all like, you know, super desperate or like, I’m not all like other girls, you know, but sort of like coming off a little bit, single white female or stalkerish.

2.  You’ve Hooked your Sales Energy into A Parasitic Blood Bag of Conditional Approval 

If you’ve got this over enthusiasm infused into your scripts, into the way you sell your product, you just end up coming off needy, trying too hard.

There’s a level of convincing, persuading, um, and it means that you’ll always be sucked into the way that you sell is dependent on how energized you feel and it’s almost like hooking yourself up to the blood bags in Mad Max, right?

It’s like you are getting sucked out by your sales system, so you require somebody else to mirror back that same enthusiasm, otherwise it will start draining your energy. And that’s what leads to burnout. You don’t wanna have that, so you gotta be pro protective of your energy. One of the first things about really auditioning clients and make is like, you have to have this sense of, I’m just checking to see if you are the right fit and I can actually help you. Okay?

So if you are coming in like with heaps exclamation marks in your Sell by chat or, Hey gorgeous, hey, beautiful or yay, awesome! more epic! you know, I’ve made all those mistakes before. But if you come in like that and the person’s like, kind of like, what?

Like chill out, chill out. Um, it’s gonna be like the dude trying to sell you something in the plaza.

You’ll be immediately suspicious. Even if he was gonna offer me a really awesome deal, I’m immediately put off.

How to ensure you’re never coming from a place of lack – by doing this instead. 

So making sure that you are ensuring that you are coming from a perspective of not from scarcity, not from lack, not from worried you’re gonna get rejected, not from trying to prove yourself, but just coming from, are we a good fit? First and foremost,

Are you in a position that I know I can actually help you? And if you are doing a lot of those reaching out conversations, then um, you’re probably putting yourself in situations where people aren’t gonna value you. And it does take a knock to your enthusiasm. And if you actually are really a, uh, really expert at what you do and you actually give people really great results, um, and you charge a premium, if you are suddenly now in this place where people are not valuing you, that’s a real, that erodes your own self confidence, it’s, it’s not a fun place to be. So make sure that you match. This is what building rapport, genuine rapport is, is actually building the other person’s, uh, sorry, matching their pacing, matching where they’re at, not trying to like escalate them up to being excited that they’re talking to a salesperson whenever somebody calls you on the phone back in the day, or I suppose it still happens now, but if somebody’s overly enthusiastic, you would hang up with them cuz you’re like, you’re trying to sell me something. So I guess really coming from that place of connection first and foremost, and I think also because I use magnetic direct response, magnetic attraction, direct response marketing, I, why would I be in somebody’s inbox like trying to make all these weird disingenuous conversations, connections when I could spend more time delivering value, like in a video like this where the people who resonate with me will seek me out. Cool. Awesome. Like, I don’t wanna have to filter through, you know, 50 people every time before I can find the five people that match with me. No. Like, I wanna help people find me more easily. Um, so yeah, so step one is to ensure that you’re looking for a correct fit. First step two is to make sure you are matching the other person’s level of enthusiasm. And as you start, you know, working through that, um, those, you know, questions and realizing you are a good match and they start getting excited, you can start excited then too. Okay. Um, and the final one is really the concept of stretching the gap. Um, once I said this something really embarrassing in a business meeting, I was like, I said it to Kylie, um, I said, I’ll stretch the gap, you know, like a perineal massage and that the instructor was like, Oh, um, what did you say? And so, because my bestie thinks it’s really hilarious, of course I said it in front of a room of 200 people, um, I was like, you know, you stretched the gap like a perineal massage, um, you know, stretching your tweeny bit. Um, but yet maybe in a room was like 50 year old dudes , maybe it wasn’t, um, super received that well, but anyway, I thought it was hilarious and so did class. Um, um, so making sure that you stretch the gap , making sure that you stretch the gap, which really means that you are comparing where somebody is right now and contrasting them with where they wanna be and where they want to be is somewhere that they haven’t been before, but you should know where that is. So it’s like they’re on their struggle street and you are on pleasure island. Um, and you need to articulate what that can be and they will all, you will always know that it’s easier to get there and way better once you live there than they will ever know. So you have to set that picture for them. You have to, you know, it’s like, yeah, I can help you get that, that result in this little time. Yeah, I can help you, um, you know, do it so much faster and go have heaps more stuff that you want with heaps of less stuff that you don’t want. But you have to articulate that and then enroll them into that. Is that what you want? Right? You have to like really say how great it is on pleasure island and is that what you want? Um, that’s, that’s really the, the, the ability to create tension and help somebody see that they’re not where they’re at and take charges. You being the person who can facilitate that, that requires a lot of strength, uh, backing oneself. And that’s the ability of a sales queen. It’s very different to the energy of the delivery queen who’s like, got no boundaries up. It’s kind of like, uh, the sales queen is at the, at the front of the house just making, asking questions and interviewing, making sure that you’re a good fit to come into the dinner party. Maybe there’s even some AEUs out the front there saying, Is this what you like? Is this what you like? Um, and then the delivery queen gets to be the hostess with the moseses. Um, so in the delivery, in the, in the expansive delivery now short, there are boundaries, meaning like you can’t just, um, I don’t know why come up with these analogies. You can’t just go and do poo in the corner. Okay? Um, oh, somebody came the other day, some friends of my in-laws and they brought three of their little dogs, like, Don’t bring your dogs to my house with my children. And your little dogs are running around. So there are boundaries within your delivery queen hostess with the most once you bring somebody over for a dinner party. But for the most part there’s like, yes, of course, you know, unlimited coffee and tea and um, beautiful plates of food and let’s enjoy. And there’s no need pretension, no, no pretenses and no, like, we don’t need to create the tension of like how great it’s gonna be because we’re gonna be enjoying how great it’s gonna be. Um, so I hope that’s helped with all those colorful dynamics and analogies of really understanding, um, the, it doesn’t mean auditioning clients doesn’t mean you break your system. It doesn’t mean that you go and do things different that feel really inauthentic. It’s, it doesn’t mean you have to put extra forms. Doesn’t mean that you have to like, kind of like, you know, be a bodyguard, a security guard. You just have to have this level of like, protection around your energy and ensuring that you are not setting yourself up for this kind of like blood back or like needy tinder dating experience. Um, I’ve got some cool things coming up and excited to share with you guys. Let me know your thoughts, uh, in the comments below and um, yeah, look forward to helping me and chatting with you about your sales script soon. Okay, b