• How letting people live in your head rent-free is making you fat and miserable
• Why treating weight loss as a purely physical problem is why you became unstuck so easily
• The mantra I use to evict those freeloaders and let go of other people’s stuff
We all have our inner mean girl. But what I want to ask you is: are you being a big fat nosy parker?
Do you ever find that sometimes your attention to what’s happening out there in the world just pisses you off? It just gets you really cranky – or someone might say something or some girl might say something and just really spoils your day.
Well, excess weight isn’t just about the food you eat and the exercise you do or don’t do. It’s also about your emotions and how you react to them.
In the last video, I spoke to you about stress and how our body can interpret that stress and make us want to reach for fattening foods and make us feel really lethargic. But there’s also the stress that you put on yourself.
So there’s stresses happening out there in the world and also the stress that’s happening because of the glasses that you’re wearing and that you’re looking out from. So, basically, when you put meanings on what other people are doing and you stick your nose in their business.
But you gotta get out of other people’s business because your inner mean girl is making you fat and she’s making you miserable.
When you see things going on the world that make you feel overly critical or you find yourself really judging harshly, then that is also another version of stress that your body can feel threatened from – and also adds another another dimension for you to add external behaviors, conscious behaviors onto the subconscious meanings that you’re putting on things.
So, basically, worrying about other people’s business is another way for your body to want to feel like it needs protect itself (i.e. put on fat and stubbornly hold on to it).
The other thing is, when you’re super harsh to other people, have you stopped and listened to the critical voices that you say to yourself? And do you think that you would actually be friends with yourself or anybody who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself on the inside?
Think about your inner child. Would you ever say the kind of things you say to yourself when you look in the mirror to a child?
Now the only reason you’re doing that is because you think it’s going to goad you into action, you think it’s going to make you happy, when actually it’s just making you critical, it’s just turning on that internal fat switch to make you want to crave crap food.
I know because I used to look at myself in the mirror and I would say all these nasty things, it would be like these wave of red temperature fever. Oh, I couldn’t even stand myself – and I find myself making a beeline to the fridge.
But then I’d be thinking that I didn’t have enough willpower to stop myself from eating the foods. But, really, it was the chemicals in the foods that was making me feel better from all the nasty things I’m saying to myself.
In order to love your body lean, in order for you to have this figure that you don’t have to fight or force for, you don’t have to punish yourself or deprive yourself of the foods that you love. You need to look at the world with forgiving eyes and get out of other people’s business and stop letting that resentment eat you up inside and people living in your head rent-free.
Now this is the mantra that helps me pull myself back in and check in with myself.
There are 3 types of business:
And guess how many of those you have any control over? We’ve only got control over our own business.
So when somebody else is doing something that you don’t like, “It’s none of my business.”
You can only control how you react to it and what you can do in your power.
And just remember: there are two sides to every story. There’s your side, there’s their side – and there’s the truth.
So which one are you going to kill yourself for?
Give up the need to be right, give up your body’s desire or need to be protected – and kill the haters with kindness. And then nothing can touch you, you are protected.
But you know what? At the end of the day, it’s this approval, it’s this eternal quest for external approval that keeps us trapped. But the only approval that matters and gives us peace is that one that we give ourselves.
So, forgive yourself for being where you are. Forgive yourself if you slip off the bandwagon. Forgive yourself for looking the way you look. Forgive yourself for being who you are and treat yourself with kindness and gratitude and love.
I know it’s really, really hard to love yourself when you hate what you see in the mirror.
This is what we really cover in-depth in The Food Freedom Formula™. It’s a 90 day self-paced online program where we walk you through everything you need to know.
But if you can just entertain the idea that maybe one day you might love yourself and ask yourself before you do anything:
If I did love myself, if I did approve of myself, what would I do right now?
Then you are one step closer to that gorgeous, heavenly body.
For anyone considering working with Bianca – it’s a real privilege to get Bianca’s brain and energy in your business. There’s a real level of detail and depth of mastery to her work that not many people have. The nuances of energy are so important, because if we’re not aligned, we’ll sabotage ourselves and not make the sales we can.
Even teaching mindset myself, I can’t see my on blind spots, and I loved working with Bianca who is really strong in her own work, who didn’t put me on a pedestal but could really hold space for me and keep me accountable. There was a time that I did have massive anxiety because I was trying to be the strong one for everyone else. But nobody was doing that for me and so, I just fell apart after a while. You can be strong and still need support – that’s how we thrive.
The way Bianca has amalgamated everything is just an incredible, magical process, it was really intriguing for me. The breakthroughs just keep coming – to experience her method, her intuition, it really is the magic of it – she really sees you.
You can move through the stuff, the trauma, without being retraumatised
Every time I work with Bianca I have made more money, I have freed up my life a lot more, I have bought more time back and I’ve deepened my relationships.
What I’ve achieved since is beyond what I had ever imagined. I entered into a new industry and built a multiple 7 figure business in the first 3 months, opened a second office within 6 months and within 1 year we’re at 8 figures.
If you’re thinking about working with Bianca I 200% recommend it.
I was looking for somebody who encouraged me to charge my worth, believe in that work and not be afraid of what I am worth. Many people look at my life and think I had already achieved a lot, but I wanted to expand and grow, and aside from my very supportive husband, I have found it difficult to find people who push me to be better than I am.
Bianca really held me accountable to my vision and helped me branch out from my property software consulting business into coaching. I went from $110/hour sessions to selling over $50,000 in programs within 8 weeks. It was the ease at which it happened that was the best part – I kept accidentally selling people!
12 months after working with Bianca I am booked out 4 weeks in advance. I’m about to hire 12 – 15 staff and I am on a rapid rise to 100k a month. I don’t think I would have gotten here this quickly if it weren’t for Bianca’s support, emotional clearing techniques and big picture questioning. Bianca held me to a higher vision than I had for myself and I’m thrilled with what I’ve achieved
Confidence. Certainty. Courage. Cashflow …
Bianca is the Queen at helping you create all of these (and fast, there’s no f’ing around).
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and thought it was too hard and I didn’t have time to be successful AND have a healthy life balance. But I was surprised at how quickly the shifts happened. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind, I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time.