|Imagine me sitting down for dinner at a Gala event as a finalist for a Business award. We’re all dressed up for this special occasion and my proud and loving husband asks for a photo together. I’m happy to oblige but when I see my image on the screen – I am horrified.|
I look like a podgy blueberry trying to stuff itself into a shapeless sack. My arms are grotesque sausages, my belly is a bloated tyre and there’s a disgusting layer of fat around my chin.
I feel a red wave of embarrassment, shame and disgust wash over me, OMG HOW could I have let this happen?
To add insult to injury I also notice my thighs are sore from chafing, all I want to do is leave immediately and cry on the way home. But I have to stay – they’re about to call my name to go up on stage FFS!
It was only 12 months earlier that I had completely transformed my body on a mammoth diet and exercise challenge. I was a size 10, with visible abs, a sharp jawline, slim thighs and rock hard buns. I actually went on to win “Miss Brisbane” in a Body Sculpting competition and they even featured my Before & After transformation in Oxygen Magazine!
After gorging myself at the celebratory dinner I woke up the next morning puffy, bloated and with a raging headache. After eating so clean for so long – my body reacted violently to the tornado of salt, sugar and fat I’d plunged myself in.
I remember pinching my stomach in horror thinking “OH MY GOD I AM ALREADY GETTING FAT AGAIN!” (And I was equally pissed because all that food I dreamed of for so long – didn’t even live up to the hype!!!)
Instead of being super proud of my achievements – I was a victim of my ruthlessly high standards. You’d think I would have gotten “right back on the bandwagon” after that wouldn’t you?
But I was like, “Hang on, let’s just have a few more “treat meals” before I start again…”
And then I was like Homer salivating over “beer battered friiiiieees”…..
“I’ll start Monday” happened week after week after week…..
Then, it was like a movie screen flashing before my eyes, months of working hard on the computer, staying up late, rushing around skipping meals and eating junk on the run…
I would collapse on the couch like a slobbering walrus at 8pm and then be wide awake at 2am stressing and anxious about the day ahead…
I remembered the caffeine that pepped me up in the mornings, the chocolate that kept me going through the afternoon and the secret guilty bowls of ice cream every other night I had just for a bit of “fun”.
It all started to blur into one big, hot, fat mess… Now I remembered exactly how I got like this.
Even though after my challenge I had lost over 17kgs from when I started- from that very first Sunday blow out I just couldn’t help thinking I was always just varying degrees of “fat” in comparison to that ultra lean (and completely unrealistic) version of me.
And seeing that Gala Event photo was like getting punched in the face with the reality of all those negative choices.
I was the prime example of what happens “After the After”.
This is when the “All or Nothing” pendulum swings, you’re in the grips of the dieting gym bunny to coach potato rebound and feeling powerless to stop it.
The thing was – I already knew everything about diets. I had studied them obsessively since I was in high school.
I didn’t need more information. I needed more motivation!
I needed to know how to STICK to a diet.
That’s when I googled “Weight Loss Motivation” and stumbled across My Mind Coach a website created by mindset expert Kylie Ryan.
I thought I was SO broken and after a year of couch potato-ing I desperately wanted to get back my super toned, size 10 body.
I knew I needed help because I just couldn’t seem to stay motivated on my plan for longer than 2 weeks! (And I was a fitness professional – you’d think I’d have more willpower than that!)
I was beginning to think I might as well give up and just accept that I was always going to be fat and it was always going to be a struggle…
I was sure I needed AT LEAST 10 coaching sessions before I would fix this problem.
But to my absolute surprise it only took ONE session to really help me unpack what was keeping me stuck! Kylie told me what I was experiencing actually was a really common mindset trap for many high performing women.
A few weeks later she emailed and asked me if I had been eating better and sticking to my exercise plan like I had told her that I wanted her help with.
I actually just said, “No. Sorry, I haven’t. I’m just trying to enjoy life for a while.”
The truth was – I no longer had those large reservoirs of will power to force myself to do things I didn’t enjoy. If trying to force yourself to do things was a limb- it was like it had been cut off. I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything I didn’t really want to, every choice had to be the easiest, simplest choice.
And for a long time things stayed the same …… from the outside at least.
But after a while I noticed myself feeling more motivated, more positive, more trusting in the process and being far less critical of my body and what others might think of it.
The reason I show these pics is that it illustrates as how far willpower can really take you in a diet when you believe the myth “I’ll be happy when I’ve lost the weight”
The truth is – anybody can force their body to lose weight, but nobody can force it to stay off!
And here’s a secret most people never get the “privilege” to discover. I was exercising 3 hours a day, 6 days a week and I even ate 24 egg whites a day for over 6 weeks!
But even when I was ripped AF with paper thin fat levels all over my body – I STILL felt like I was a fraud and I STILL was critical of my body!
Surprise surprise – I couldn’t diet my Inner Critic away!
Today I eat to satisfaction, I enjoy my desserts without any of the guilt and I’m no longer afraid I’ll lose control on a holiday dinner.
I maintain a healthy weight and toned physique without deprivation, balancing macros or even vigorous exercise.
The biggest difference from back then (and the one that I’m most proud of) is that I just really have a deep sense of gratitude for my body. Critical thoughts about my reflection in the mirror just don’t have a place in my mind anymore.
I’ll also share what I actually did to create this radical transformation, and how I’ve helped hundreds of women do the exact same thing (and why you can do it too)
Until then remember –
Diets are for Dying – Life is for Living!
Join The Body Confidence Movement
For anyone considering working with Bianca – it’s a real privilege to get Bianca’s brain and energy in your business. There’s a real level of detail and depth of mastery to her work that not many people have. The nuances of energy are so important, because if we’re not aligned, we’ll sabotage ourselves and not make the sales we can.
Even teaching mindset myself, I can’t see my on blind spots, and I loved working with Bianca who is really strong in her own work, who didn’t put me on a pedestal but could really hold space for me and keep me accountable. There was a time that I did have massive anxiety because I was trying to be the strong one for everyone else. But nobody was doing that for me and so, I just fell apart after a while. You can be strong and still need support – that’s how we thrive.
The way Bianca has amalgamated everything is just an incredible, magical process, it was really intriguing for me. The breakthroughs just keep coming – to experience her method, her intuition, it really is the magic of it – she really sees you.
You can move through the stuff, the trauma, without being retraumatised
Every time I work with Bianca I have made more money, I have freed up my life a lot more, I have bought more time back and I’ve deepened my relationships.
What I’ve achieved since is beyond what I had ever imagined. I entered into a new industry and built a multiple 7 figure business in the first 3 months, opened a second office within 6 months and within 1 year we’re at 8 figures.
If you’re thinking about working with Bianca I 200% recommend it.
I was looking for somebody who encouraged me to charge my worth, believe in that work and not be afraid of what I am worth. Many people look at my life and think I had already achieved a lot, but I wanted to expand and grow, and aside from my very supportive husband, I have found it difficult to find people who push me to be better than I am.
Bianca really held me accountable to my vision and helped me branch out from my property software consulting business into coaching. I went from $110/hour sessions to selling over $50,000 in programs within 8 weeks. It was the ease at which it happened that was the best part – I kept accidentally selling people!
12 months after working with Bianca I am booked out 4 weeks in advance. I’m about to hire 12 – 15 staff and I am on a rapid rise to 100k a month. I don’t think I would have gotten here this quickly if it weren’t for Bianca’s support, emotional clearing techniques and big picture questioning. Bianca held me to a higher vision than I had for myself and I’m thrilled with what I’ve achieved
Confidence. Certainty. Courage. Cashflow …
Bianca is the Queen at helping you create all of these (and fast, there’s no f’ing around).
Before working with Bianca I was super stressed and thought it was too hard and I didn’t have time to be successful AND have a healthy life balance. But I was surprised at how quickly the shifts happened. It’s been no coincidence to me that as a result of the new clarity of mind, I’ve actually doubled my business at the same time.