Why can’t I take action on my goals?

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Transcript

Hey, friends! In this video I want to share with you the key to unlocking the power of your mind so that healthy eating and exercise becomes an easy and effortless and regular part of your routine – and you can stop the internal struggle of “I really need to do something about this but I’m just going to start Monday” and then Monday never comes.

Mel reached out for some help from me and she was saying that she can really see something that inspires her, you know, maybe you’ve seen something on a Pinterest board or a sports model or somebody’s success story, and you think, “Right, I’m going to get motivated. I’m going to do this.”

And so, being one of the smart, intellectual, hardworking women that I work with, of course Mel went about this with all the overachieving mindset that’s so common for these women.

She created a step by step meal plan – easy to follow, easy to integrate – she created an exercise program for herself that went progressively harder and more challenging and also incorporated her work and her life “play times”.

Then she put reminder notes everywhere around the house to keep her on track.

She got into a meditative state to be creative and create the energy that she would need to execute this plan. She even bought a bunch of exercise gear so that she could really envision and manifest her ideal body and her ideal routine and make it all come to fruition.

But she actually ended up not taking any steps of action when it came to actually where the road meets the rubber and taking that inspired action.

What’s really happening here?

Three main problems I see high-performing women in business come up against and struggle with:

1) They’re just too damn smart for their own good, so they intellectualize a process that actually needs to be a lot more intuitive and instinctive.

2) Motivation. Often there actually isn’t the energy all the time, all the head space to accommodate that kind of mindset shifts you’re required to be motivated consistently over a period of time.

3) Perfection-itis.

There’s a bunch of different things that are going on there, essentially being too intellectual, not having that headspace anyway to follow through on these goals, and an inherent lack of confidence and calmness and positive expectation that’s not just on a conscious level, that’s actually on a subconscious level.

Let me show you what I think is really going on here and Mel can start unraveling this.

What I asked next from Mel was to get the intended goal of the plan, what did she actually want to have. And then I also needed to know what was the story she was telling herself when she wasn’t following through on the plan.

And Mel says:

“It’s always based around cellulite. I can see a reflection of the back of the thigh or the back of an arm and I’ll see cellulite – and that what will be my motivation that what I’m seeing is not acceptable.

When I’m talking to myself about implementing the plan, I tell myself things like I am strong, I am beautiful already – but firming up the cellulite will push me to the next level of being strong and beautiful. And I won’t have to worry about how short my shorts are and I’ll become even more of a superhero powerhouse of an awesome woman.

And then my excuses for not doing it?? All come down to… it’s taking too long to see results. I just don’t feel like it. I’d rather do anything else. Something else came along in the schedule on the calendar and now it’s just too difficult to keep up with it.

And then my when I give up on it, deep down inside I feel like I’m giving up on a part of how successful I can be. And then that kind of seeps out into other aspects of my life like my job and motherhood and being a friend, where deep down inside I question whether or not I can be any of those other things to the best of my ability because I can’t even do the best to myself.”

What’s actually happening is Mel has these two warring parts.

Oh, how beautiful, wonderful and complex human beings we all are.

What I want to point out to you here, Mel, and for everyone watching, is that there is actually an inner conflict in between the two parts here – and there’s a massive misalignment.

It’s like spiritualized ego. There’s a part of you that’s saying, “Hey, I’m already strong and beautiful.” But then there’s also a part of you that’s saying, “Hey, let’s push me to be even stronger and even more beautiful.”

This is the ego who wants to want more than the ego wants to have. The ego is getting conflicted with the higher self and masquerading itself as the higher self. Also happening in here, we’ve got the inner critic and inner sceptic, which goes hand in hand.

The critic is the one that says, “Hey, you better do something about this unacceptable cellulite.”

And then the inner sceptic says, “But whatever you do, it’s not really going to work, it’s taking too long, I don’t feel like it and it’s too difficult.”

It’s this beautiful mix of all these different warring parts for you to do nothing.

And what’s worse, this ego loves to crucify you so that if you can’t succeed at this then you can’t succeed at everything.

The super high expectations that do actually make you be successful in a lot of other areas of your life, it’s actually from a whipping mindset and a perfectionism mindset rather than actually what it would mean to believe that you are strong and you are beautiful already. It’s just pretending to be unconditional love, but it’s actually conditional love and conditional acceptance.

There’s a part of it that says, “You’re strong and beautiful already.”

And then the ego comes in and says, “Yeah, so let’s be more strong and more beautiful and push even harder!!!”

But, actually, the truth of the scenario would be to actually love and accept yourself, you would not need to put that expectation on yourself. So this is actually about unconditional acceptance.

It seems really counterintuitive because you think “Well, I don’t accept myself when I have the cellulite.”

But the thing about cellulite is it’s just manufactured. Like 50 years ago, nobody knew what cellulite was, or maybe 70 years ago nobody knew cellulite was.

Cellulite is a societal construct.

In the 1950s they had ads about: “Hey, you don’t want to be skinny, you want to voluptuous.”

Actually, cellulite probably wasn’t even recognized because they weren’t even allowed to wear bathers that revealed so much. It’s totally a societal construct – and your higher self knows this.

Trying to motivate yourself from a place of criticism is not going to be in alignment with your higher self who knows that all you’re doing is trying to punish and force and push yourself into a societal construct of what you think is acceptable.

That part of you just says, “Hey, listen, you are strong and beautiful already, so then you don’t have to try.”

But it’s just two parts that are actually split off from your ego mind. Your ego mind is super critical. It wants to want more than it wants to have. You’re going to have the inner critic there as well as the inner sceptic.

The critic says, “Hey, you’ve cellulite, you need to do something about it.”

The skeptic says, “Whatever you do isn’t going to work, so what’s the point?”

And then the other part of you which is the coping mechanism from those, the rebelling part of those that does actually know that you don’t need to do that, that one’s saying, “Hey, just kick back and just relax and don’t do any of it.”

But we need to integrate all three, or all two, or all the different parts that are conflicting in here so that you’re actually coming from a place of alignment.

And the way that you do that is instead of focusing on what you need to do, we focus on who we are being in that moment. And if you are being somebody who’s being super critical of yourself, that’s the part where you need to start at.

The work actually isn’t in the diet and the exercise and the consistency. The work is is to neutralize the negative emotional charge that you have around what you think is unacceptable.

Why is it unacceptable to have cellulite? What is cellulite? What are you making it mean? The fact that cellulite is there, what are you making it mean about you as person?

Essentially, if you can give up the need of ever having to change that about you, you’ll actually start becoming somebody who’s more loving and accepting of yourself. And because of that love and acceptance you will be able to amplify the strength and the beauty that, yes, you do you already have – but you’ll do it in a much more organic way, not in a way that’s forcing yourself.

And even though there’s so many lovely process around meditating and creating and doing a plan, it still ultimately comes from a place of self-criticism and non-acceptance, conditional self-acceptance.

Whatever you create from that place, you’re just going to create more and more and more of it.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

It’s only when you completely detach yourself from ever needing it or ever wanting it that you’ll actually be able to find yourself being gravitated towards a new concept of what your ideal best self looks like.

Because we are just spiritual beings having a human experience. Our body cannot actually measure our worth as a person. And when we completely deconstruct those ideas, it becomes far easier to actually have that inner strength and inner beauty magnetize.

And it’s funny because it happens more and more the less it concerns you. The less you need it, the less you want to force and push it.

This is a paradigm shift that does require an internal investigation itself, it does need some guidance and you could get that from a coach, you could get that from reading amazing books, different authors, you could get that through during things like EFT – NLP coaching is what I do – hypnosis. And you might do it from a bunch of different sources, which is essentially what I did as well to get to that point.

The Body Confidence Blueprint

Understanding what is holding you back and breaking through the things that are stopping you from from falling through on your intended actions is just one step of my Body Confidence Blueprint – and it’s the Subconscious Sabotage step.

This is the stuff that I really, really love mapping out.

If you want to find out how to apply this for yourself, you can download my brand new training, The Body Confidence Blueprint, which helps high-performing women drop anywhere from 5 to 18 kilos in 90 days and then cement that success so it’s something that they can keep and retain for the long-term.

If you want to learn how to apply for yourself, download the blueprint, watch the free training that goes along with it, and then schedule a call. Because I actually do a free short call, with either myself or one of my team, where we figure out if this is actually something that would apply to you.

There’s a little bit of homework that you can do, an Emotional Eating Trigger Analysis where you can go through a bit of that process that I just did for Mel – and we can actually figure out if this is something we can help you with.

The advice I’ve shared with you today lies in subconscious sabotage which is one step of my signature system the Body Confidence Blueprint. You can download your free training by clicking the banner below.